When I was a youth I wrote a zine I was v. proud of and led to a lot of good friends and wonderful heartful things in my life.
The last two issues also came at a time when I was going through a real tough time, but didn't realize it. I also didn't realize this tough time was gonna lead me into a big ol' vaaaaalllley of depression.
I feel better now, and am a better host to my moods, but I get such mixed emotions when I think about Funwater Awesome now. It is hard to reconcile what I thought Funwater Awesome would lead to, versus where it ended up. I thought it would be my fun written friend that follows me through my life, and a way for people to know me without ever meeting me. It was going to be my lifelong magnum opus. Instead, it became a weight on me that I worked hard to sabotage at the moment when people were reading it because I didn't like life. So now it feels like this cringing reminder of unfulfilled potential and heartbreak.
But...I still like it! I wont' ever not be proud of this zine and the world it helped introduce me to: the world of punk librarians and diy fests and beautifully supportive zine distros and self-publishing your dreams into a gift to share with others. I don't want these zines to disappear or live on any other site. So I am archiving them here.
The first one is now 12 years old, the most recent one is almost 10 years old. Please read them with that distance in mind, and that I was a younger, dumber person who was trying the best he could.
ugh, but also enjoy them and have fun if you want!